What do you get when you cross pizza with cough syrup?
Hole-y pizza pan Batman! It was a supper to remember. Bessie went out of her way to make a delicious and wholesome meal for her menfolk Saturday night. She toddled off to Sobey's and purchased two yummy looking pizzas to go along with the ears of fresh corn on the cob that she got from her brother's garden.
The story goes something like this: Bessie places her fresh pizzas on her hole-y-er~than~thou pizza pan and turns the timer on for the usual 10 minutes. She takes extra care to lovingly place the pizzas under the broiler for two additional minutes just to give the cheese an extra melt and brown up the crush ever so slightly.
Apparently Bessie's been busy ~ somehow her mind seems to be elsewhere these days. She's been doing her artwork in her kitchen lately so half the kitchen table is taken up with paints, an easel, markers and glitter, lots and lots of glitter. But the boys don't care one spit as long as they can inhale the grub set before them.
Mr. Bessie so kindly helps his dear wifey set the table and he goes to open the bottle of Dr. Pepper which Bessie refers to as Devil's Brew. She insists that the soda tastes just like Jack and Jill Cough Syrup! Of course her family thinks this is an outrageous claim. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the mister places the pop bottle on the table and opens it. Swoooosh! Suddenly there's Dr. Pepper EVERYwhere! Bessie screams as she starts to wipe up paint samples and fabric swatches.
Mr. Bessie and the boys are licking their chops when the pizzas eventually arrive on the table along with the corn. After the last "Amen" and the first bite of the pizza, there's a sudden cry: "Argh!" everyone looks at the poor sucker who's taken the first bite. "This is doughy! The dough isn't even cooked!"
The mister doesn't think this possible, (the pizza looks so good and so cooked). He bravely takes a mighty huge chomp off his pizza slice. Sure enough the dough is completely gooey still. In fact, it's hard to tell what's pizza and what's melted mozzarella. So! the pizza is quickly swept away and placed back into the oven. Bessie suggests that maybe the pizza is still goey because it's Rising Crust Pizza from the Deli; a type she's never tried before. Folks, it's a well known fact that Bessie never reads instructions ~ 'cept this time it's got her in trouble.
So the family decides they'll devour the corn on the corn slathered in butter while they wait until the pizza is really cooked. When the pizza pie comes back to the table the second time, the crust is almost done, but everyone's just too tuckered out to complain. Everyone just wants the disastrous meal to end, especially poor Bessie.
But on a brighter note, these are the Sunflowers that Bessie bought for the mister to give to her. He's such a romantic!
Bessie & Bea met on the internet (don't tell their kids) ... but they're starting to think they were sisters separated at birth .. just too much amazingness of fun and funk for one family.
Join Bessie & Bea; reject the ordinary bologna and Velveeta of life and add that special something that makes a truly original and delicious creative sandwich!